I saw her today, with naman and i guess(gaurav).
and then i felt saying 'HI' to Shashank!

So, Hi shashank, how are you..?
Shashank - i am good brother (as usual)

and the lines goes dead!

:)

Can i go fuck on my own..? [[Stay Away]]

True, i am irritated.

And i guess walking away would be the best. Not that i am a coward, but i want to. People i know, sadly Suck!
(except few of the very few).

I hate to see things i am seeing now. With a mountain top of happiness, and a vertical drop of sorrows, this is it!

I now want things and people MY WAY. 

I will fake with perfection, with a smile on face. But i will bitch inside of how ugly your character is(when i meet you).

I don't feel like meeting you all now, not a bit. 

Alright, i promise i will not. (So you run lucky, i will not bitch about you now) 

i will never say i love you, and don't want to hear in return of how much you do. 

This belief of ' There is no such GOD' is helping me in a way. I never did, never will. GOD is only a 'character' for me, who thinks to be a smart ass. No Comments, but i shall have the better ass one day.

P.S - 

Fuck Dog!-(God)

Fuck You- Family, Friends.(subtract some)

Almost in ALL conversations [Not Just the Last]!

Boy - Hey, please baby, never talk to 'him', for it will ONLY create something bad.
Girl - i will NEVER talk to him, no matter what.

(Same)Boy - i came to know that you are talking to him, for the past few months.
(Same)Girl - Yes i am, and i didn't tell you, because you would never understand.


Last Conversation:
She said - But I still love you.
He said - I really need to go and smoke.


As if i was left with options. Atleast this soul smokes a non-living (a cigarette).
Unlike some people, who smoke the 'present' and the 'Ex' together! 


P.S -  He - Jatin.
         She - His dream girl.
         Him - His dream girl's Ex.




and now i DO need to go puff again! :)

You, have made my soul bleed. There was a time when my body only showered tears. Tears of grief, of loud emotional utterance! I was pushed back and strapped. Fearing the unknown future, I wasn't able to accept what was happening to me. I never protested against all the wrongs you did to me, casing my weakness for you. I believed in you..i always did! I had submitted to the most outrageous and humiliating demands, proving my faith for you. But what the fuck was i really thinking..? were you a goddess, a divinity or a supernatural being..? No..i get it here..you were a worldly bitch, an acquisitive and covetous bitch!

But time has now healed my wounds. Only after your judgement i was able to judge myself i my light.. of what life has been around me. it wasn't good at all.. even a bit. i screwed my education, my family, but i won't regret. It was indeed you who educated me my dear! because of you, i now know in whom to trust. your actions have been my best lecturer. With you i have shared some of the sad moments, to one of the saddest ever!Right--no happiness! I almost killed myself. But now i am free,as free as a bird. You gave me strength and my very own identity. 
I have known now when to fight for what i hold true, even against my near and dear. what happens to you is non of my concern now, for i have learned how to not care about people. At this friday night, I make a resolution.I will not acknowledge this hurt any more. I will never tell anyone, even myself that i have had a knife in my chest. It is as much part of me as the heart itself.

Yes.. i am beyond you now and there is nothing good left to burn!

Moment of Truth!

When u turn 21, you can look back at your life and take a bag full of learnings and lessons. Now that its my turn to look back, I see people who are just like me. They have a good college life, good friends enjoying each moment as a bliss!

But I am not a part of such world anymore. I lost everything, be it coz of my own deeds or whatever, but now in the end I am standing alone with a yawp at those people whom I thought would stay beside me, come may what, turning my life into a living paradise.

Whose fault is it anyway if the world never fuses with my thoughts..?

I would say no one’s mistake.

And this is how this nasty, mean world moves. It will always strike you in your ass the moment you rise.

But I have had enough of this ass whipping! I have had my share of depression killing me each moment inside, turning me into someone who I never was(or could imagine to be!).

This is no sudden change that I am mentioning here, it has come with time, but now its here, its here to stay!

There are people standing(whom I thought are my own) to screw me, to drill my ass down, but I am not submitting myself to them this time so easily!

A Common Thought!

What do you need from this life..? love, friendships, etc; or rather I should say..dil, dosti etc(sound better!), so if the bad time comes, you have people to listen to you, and your lover’s shoulder to cry upon.

But now I am fucking alone. When I am in problem, I am the one at my own rescue!

Sounds ugly, but that’s true! In dil dosti and etc, I am the etc!

I just need some love, some good friends..that is all I long for.

But wait my dear, the lines above show the soft part of me..the usual Jatin. The only problem is that I fucking hate him now. I will pull him out and fucking slaughter him.

I want to kill the weak in me, I don’t need a fucking soul to please me!

Every now and then,, there are people who come up to me and ask me if I am doing good, and what all is going in my mind, and want me to share it with them. I say FUCK YOU!

I had spend my entire life till date making people weld with me, but the outcome..? (better not to be even mentioned!)

I no more run for happiness, neither will I wait for it.

Its time, that I want my time….alone!

People say—“ Jatin, why do you think negative..?”

I say—“ it’s official now”

People say—“why don’t you talk..?”

I say—“even if I talk, you will never understand me”

People say—“ Man, you think too much!”

I say—“you fucking moron, you breathe too much!”

People say—“ Stop dreaming”

I say—“ you FUCK OFF!”

Choose your love, choose your enemy, choose a career for urself, choose your own bed of roses, choose to love or lust, choose a Mc aloo tikki, or a chicken Mcgrill,

Choose your own world, and go choose your life!

That’s what everyone does.

You go choose a life, but today, I Choose Myself!

Peace out!

a dickhead of a poem to relate your college life!

my first day in college,
how frightened was I

Eishhh--facing the seniors,
and what about the strict teachers!

Knew nothing about the technical stuff,
but i did learn after a few tries! (did i..?) :P

Everyone wanted to chop my hair,
everyone laughed at my malai (my milk fat! :-< )

just couldn't shield against ragging,
coz i had no wings to fly!

Never stared at girls(eheh!)
and never said a Hi(haha!)

and then i saw a number of couples,
who hand in hand went singing by

i still know a lot many idiots,
to whom i call 'aur-bhai'!


now i can write more and more,
but have to shave, so i have to go to my Nai(my billu BARBER!)

Please, don't wrap me in white!

When i am done, don't wrap me in white. Its too dull.
Atleast for now i am making an effort, sincere effort to appear bright n chirpy. Any bright color would do!. Only roses. Let there be a distinct scent that comes on me, adorn me with roses! The aroma of health and prosperity emitted over a dead, departed soul.. 

Dress me in whatever may dad says is the best. Just make sure they are bright. Let my friends put it on me.  
Don’t keep me at home once i am still. Put me in the morgue over night. Yes i will take a day till i turn to ashes, I know people who love me will take a while to come down. I know my friends will be inconsolable! 
but once i am done, no matter where i am, take me down to my home.. Lucknow... I want to turn to ashes there.  

No place else in this entire world!