You, have made my soul bleed. There was a time when my body only showered tears. Tears of grief, of loud emotional utterance! I was pushed back and strapped. Fearing the unknown future, I wasn't able to accept what was happening to me. I never protested against all the wrongs you did to me, casing my weakness for you. I believed in you..i always did! I had submitted to the most outrageous and humiliating demands, proving my faith for you. But what the fuck was i really thinking..? were you a goddess, a divinity or a supernatural being..? No..i get it here..you were a worldly bitch, an acquisitive and covetous bitch!

But time has now healed my wounds. Only after your judgement i was able to judge myself i my light.. of what life has been around me. it wasn't good at all.. even a bit. i screwed my education, my family, but i won't regret. It was indeed you who educated me my dear! because of you, i now know in whom to trust. your actions have been my best lecturer. With you i have shared some of the sad moments, to one of the saddest ever!Right--no happiness! I almost killed myself. But now i am free,as free as a bird. You gave me strength and my very own identity. 
I have known now when to fight for what i hold true, even against my near and dear. what happens to you is non of my concern now, for i have learned how to not care about people. At this friday night, I make a resolution.I will not acknowledge this hurt any more. I will never tell anyone, even myself that i have had a knife in my chest. It is as much part of me as the heart itself.

Yes.. i am beyond you now and there is nothing good left to burn!

Moment of Truth!

When u turn 21, you can look back at your life and take a bag full of learnings and lessons. Now that its my turn to look back, I see people who are just like me. They have a good college life, good friends enjoying each moment as a bliss!

But I am not a part of such world anymore. I lost everything, be it coz of my own deeds or whatever, but now in the end I am standing alone with a yawp at those people whom I thought would stay beside me, come may what, turning my life into a living paradise.

Whose fault is it anyway if the world never fuses with my thoughts..?

I would say no one’s mistake.

And this is how this nasty, mean world moves. It will always strike you in your ass the moment you rise.

But I have had enough of this ass whipping! I have had my share of depression killing me each moment inside, turning me into someone who I never was(or could imagine to be!).

This is no sudden change that I am mentioning here, it has come with time, but now its here, its here to stay!

There are people standing(whom I thought are my own) to screw me, to drill my ass down, but I am not submitting myself to them this time so easily!

A Common Thought!

What do you need from this life..? love, friendships, etc; or rather I should say..dil, dosti etc(sound better!), so if the bad time comes, you have people to listen to you, and your lover’s shoulder to cry upon.

But now I am fucking alone. When I am in problem, I am the one at my own rescue!

Sounds ugly, but that’s true! In dil dosti and etc, I am the etc!

I just need some love, some good friends..that is all I long for.

But wait my dear, the lines above show the soft part of me..the usual Jatin. The only problem is that I fucking hate him now. I will pull him out and fucking slaughter him.

I want to kill the weak in me, I don’t need a fucking soul to please me!

Every now and then,, there are people who come up to me and ask me if I am doing good, and what all is going in my mind, and want me to share it with them. I say FUCK YOU!

I had spend my entire life till date making people weld with me, but the outcome..? (better not to be even mentioned!)

I no more run for happiness, neither will I wait for it.

Its time, that I want my time….alone!

People say—“ Jatin, why do you think negative..?”

I say—“ it’s official now”

People say—“why don’t you talk..?”

I say—“even if I talk, you will never understand me”

People say—“ Man, you think too much!”

I say—“you fucking moron, you breathe too much!”

People say—“ Stop dreaming”

I say—“ you FUCK OFF!”

Choose your love, choose your enemy, choose a career for urself, choose your own bed of roses, choose to love or lust, choose a Mc aloo tikki, or a chicken Mcgrill,

Choose your own world, and go choose your life!

That’s what everyone does.

You go choose a life, but today, I Choose Myself!

Peace out!

a dickhead of a poem to relate your college life!

my first day in college,
how frightened was I

Eishhh--facing the seniors,
and what about the strict teachers!

Knew nothing about the technical stuff,
but i did learn after a few tries! (did i..?) :P

Everyone wanted to chop my hair,
everyone laughed at my malai (my milk fat! :-< )

just couldn't shield against ragging,
coz i had no wings to fly!

Never stared at girls(eheh!)
and never said a Hi(haha!)

and then i saw a number of couples,
who hand in hand went singing by

i still know a lot many idiots,
to whom i call 'aur-bhai'!


now i can write more and more,
but have to shave, so i have to go to my Nai(my billu BARBER!)

Please, don't wrap me in white!

When i am done, don't wrap me in white. Its too dull.
Atleast for now i am making an effort, sincere effort to appear bright n chirpy. Any bright color would do!. Only roses. Let there be a distinct scent that comes on me, adorn me with roses! The aroma of health and prosperity emitted over a dead, departed soul.. 

Dress me in whatever may dad says is the best. Just make sure they are bright. Let my friends put it on me.  
Don’t keep me at home once i am still. Put me in the morgue over night. Yes i will take a day till i turn to ashes, I know people who love me will take a while to come down. I know my friends will be inconsolable! 
but once i am done, no matter where i am, take me down to my home.. Lucknow... I want to turn to ashes there.  

No place else in this entire world!

Men don't Despair!

I fail to understand all the noise media is making about not needing men anymore just because a few scientists have discovered how to create human sperms from stem cells now.

Now how does that make a man redundant?

Please don’t get me wrong here, a man can certainly be an object of pleasure for a woman, but this pleasure I am talking about, extends beyond the bed! Yes, it does!

We frequently come across this question of what life would be without women..? 

lets just put all the women on hold here. The question now is, what life would be without men here?

I pity women who say that they don’t need a man for anything; there are untold pleasures these women have yet to discover! 

And once again, I am not talking sex here. Well, not just.And even if we talk sex, how does that boil down to just sperms? Now just come to think of it that every time a man and a woman come together for sex, how many times are relevant sperm-wise? The average couple may have 2 children, and sex say twice a week, making it 104 times a year and so around 3,120 times for an average marriage span of 30 years. In all these romps, the sperm is relevant just twice, or lets say eight more times, taking in account all the failed attempts. Now this account for just 0.3 percent of their total sex life.

And now they say that the artificially created sperm makes men redundant. What crap! 
Who says creation of lab sperms can make men redundant? Babies or no, women need men for qualities beyond the bed! ( a bit of reality check)

He is Forever. :-(

He can please any girl. He won’t even leave girls in the night. For he has no fear that girls may desert him. He’s forever. Hold him up girls and then caress, touch, stroke and undress him. I am sure the feel will be supreme, ultimate, unparalleled. You can see every part, and nothing hides in the heart to hurt! I wish I was that HE. I wish I was Diamond! :->

with Love, to Love, for Love!

Hmm, looking for love, or I may say looking for someone to love you..? Are you still searching..patiently? [ Wow..you got balls!(Fireballs)] :P Well i am not here to start any dating agency as I am just NOT good at it! Actually, according to me, this is not they way to find love..is it..? You find people, but not love. They are two different things. For now..lets have some coffee, as “A lot can happen over a coffee” :P (another way of NOT finding your love) :->

lights, camera, and RAPE!

Two of the 11 men arrested for the alleged gang rape of a 24-year old MBA student near a mall in Noida. . . A 40-year old woman was allegedly gangraped by four men, including her husband's friend. . . . and the list goes on! "Their minds are rotten". In many cases the family and acquaintances are often rapists including fathers, uncles, and cousins. The sad thing about the evil practice in India is the lack of seriousness with which the crime is often treated. Statistics from 2000 showed that on an average, every hour has a different rape story in india. Delhi is not only the country capital, but the "rape capital" as well with over 330 cases in 4 months! dude..its time for me to wear my body condom. 


Capital isn't safe..but hey, i promise to be rubber sheltered! :->

19th January!

"Don't keep him waiting child! Why,his time is worth a thousand pounds a minute! And don't twiddle your fingers all the time..Better say nothing at all. 
Language is worth a thousand pounds a word!" The goat has a self-made brick wall around him. He's shy, but he is strong and tough. He's pleasant, but he's fiercely ambitious. Like the legendary, silent, earthy cowboy, the goat seems to prefer to be alone! They prefer to discuss serious subject, however, will always be there to listen to the problem. tend to be dominating and are not easy to win over. If you are going on a date with the goat (haha), make sure you are prompt! If you say you'll be there at a certain time, be there. They are intolerant to people who say something else and do something else. There are goats who are deliciously romantic- who understand the strange light of the moon and the glorious colors of the butterfly's wing. Don't defy the conventions if you want the respect of the goat. "PUBLIC SCENES AND RAW, NAKED, UNCONTROLLED PASSIONS EMBARRASS THEM!" ( but hey, i don't mind..hehe) Opportunity never has to knock twice at the goat's door. He'll hear the first knock. In fact, he's been leaning against the door, listening and waiting for it. phew! 

Fine, lets cut the crap now and put Linda Goodman on hold.. Happy birthday to this goat! happy birthday to me. :-)

Not too near, not too far.

There are couples who are so much into each other that there is no detail too intimate to discuss and no rule too sacrosanct to be broken. They present a united front to the world--sound like each other, repeat the same anecdotes and jokes and over time, may even start looking like each other! they know each other's deepest secrets from the past and there are no more mysteries to unravel.  

There are couples who agree to carve out enough space for each other and steer so far clear that overtime they become strangers and address the world from their own separate individual spaces, with no trace of togetherness. Over time they forget the art of communication and distance between them keeps growing.That is when they start saying, " It seems that i am living with a Stranger!". Despite talk of how important distance is for a healthy relationship, too much of it can stretch ties to breaking point, while an overdose of cloying togetherness can be nauseating! 
 
The long and short of it is that while it's important to keep a bit of yourself away just for you, it is equally important not to allow distances to grow exponentially. The most successful partnerships are those that maintain this "near-far" balance. Near enough to feel together and far enough retain the mystique!

Heart of Hinduism.

Human life alone is a life of responsibility and there is someone who governs this life She is a bitch of the finest order, answering to no one for her own actions.she knows how to love and she so very well knows how to fuck! she will make you answer for your actions, be they well-intentioned or carried out with negative intent. Glossary Terms: Punya – pious activities Papa – sinful activities. Karma exists and she is blind.